Sunday Afternoon Small Press Rant.

Outside of a rare few incidences the comics appearing from the UK Small Press ‘community’ are facing a dangerous high point in homogenous banality. A state of sanctified like-think that borders on depersonalisation.

A catered to and gate-kept space where anyone daring to say or otherwise communicate something not ticked and double-checked by a band of simps and snowflakes faces the onslaught of gossiping by feminised man-babies.

Fiction and especially comics should never be subject to this hive-mind soft-cock nonsense. If it had been prevalent in the eighties we wouldn’t have had racist disabled kids attacking big business, women sleeping with plants or dudes cutting up prostitutes.

And comics as we have known it wouldn’t still be about.

After sweeping the halls of a recent small press centric comics convention I saw almost nothing of interest. No, not hyperbole. There was nothing there with any energy. Thirty-somethings writing about how their cats like pizza. Shoot me now!

And no. It doesn’t and shouldn’t matter if it sells. Lots of things make money. Rarely are they of any artistic worth.

At this convention there were, however, lots of badges. Literally buckets worth. Alongside cutesy agenda driven bullshit. Stories of people being sad. People pushing agendas in their zines/comics/books but then going quiet when you ask about them. When did everyone become so touchy!? I thought they’d at least have the gumption to Zoomersplain to me! Shout at someone! Feel something! Do something that doesn’t involve you eating your feelings. (Yes, that was a fat joke).

Aren’t we tired of comics with ideas so fucking boring due to the creators being too frightened to say something with actual meaning for fear of someone pointing an accusatory finger. People are genuinely afraid of calling someone ‘Nuts’ in a story these days! Get a pair of bollocks! It is really laughable.

The answer. Don’t give into this shitstorm of control. Refuse to stay in line. People only have power if you give it to them.

I am personally so tired of the constant self-indulgence evident in comics. You might not be so sad if you wrote something that didn’t involve you being so sad! Some of these stories have been trotted out for years now. Why do you think that people are so interested. Stop it. You are obsessed with yourself. You’ll look back on these in years and cringe.

Another recurring trope is the female hero when written by the weak-assed man. Were there actually any male Vikings or Barbarians or Ninjas? At this point I’m no longer sure. It’s just an exercise that allows for these idiotic boys to get attention by saying they are writing a ‘Strong Woman’. It is so boring and beyond cliche by now. And rarely are they actually any good. I see these bellends talk, and talk, and talk about their craft and when you open a comic they’ve made it’s immediately evident that they don’t have a Scooby-Doo about how a comic actually operates. Comics is becoming a safe space for people to have a cry and then charge you £11.99 for the displeasure of reading about it.

And people/customers are being conned into thinking that this shite is good. By a comics press so afraid to be critical in any way that it’s dragging the quality down and pushing people away who are incredulous at why these things are being promoted at all.

Newsflash – Talking about your craft/comic/storytelling/agenda online non-stop does not improve its quality. In fact sometimes in the optics department it has the opposite effect. When I see someone quoting reviews or popping up on numerous podcasts it’s easy to conclude that they are the comics version of trying to convince people you have a massive cock by buying a sports car. This goes double for the comics writers who appear suddenly and get themselves involved in online slagging or spats. They think it’s a short-cut to getting their name out there. It’s not, it just makes them look sad and desperate.

Make original comics. Make good comics. Do it with your head and your heart. There can be nothing better.

Many thanks for reading.

PS – If you read this and take it personally and go off to tweet or gossip about it. You are part of the problem. Stop that shit now. Go make something. Stop being a fucking baby.